Still not happy with this, I really want to keep pushing the exaggerations as much as possible so I keep chopping and moving bits about and then re-sketching from scratch to get something I really think works. So far, I think the second one here is as far as I'd want to go, but who knows? :) It's much better than what I started with anyway.
EDIT: That's it, I'm stopping with this one! Probably.